Public Pooping Part Two
A thorough analysis of Public Pooping cannot rest on the merits of the handicap stall alone, it must dive into those moments of frustration & anguish that are seemingly inevitable in this public/private experience.
But please understand: If you’re a public pooper, like me, some of these ‘issues’ will be all too familiar. If not, while they might seem cringe-worthy… I sincerely do NOT want to dissuade you from taking the next liberating step in your away-from-home answer, to natures’ call.
That said, here are some issues I find troubling when liquidating assets on the road.
DOOR GAP
I’m not sure who designed the first public restroom stall, but I think I can confidently say that it was NOT an engineer. These designs seems more ‘back of napkin’ to me.
Case in point: The distance between the sides of the stall door, and the “frame” of that door (wall panels), is routinely large enough to establish full-blown eye contact with a passer-by.
Now, most people do have an innate public pooping etiquette which precludes them from facial focusing when they’re walking by a stall. While they may peer through the door gap to establish vacancy vs. occupancy, they understand that focused eye contact is forboden.
However, the occasional mistake DOES happen. Whether it’s a rookie mistake, or genuine sociopathy, it is perhaps one of the most egregious actions a human can take.
DOOR PLACEMENT
While we’re on the subject of doors (and engineering), how is it possible that many stall designers did not or could not foresee a minimum necessary distance between the in-swung stall door and the front of the toilet?
It’s bad enough that the door doesn’t always supply adequate and necessary privacy, but it would be nice to at least be able to close the stall door without leaning backwards over the bowl.
I have in fact, on occasion, had to step up and over the toilet in order to swing the door shut. I’m not exaggerating. I just, don’t, get it.
CLEANLINESS
As a topic, this is low hanging (yet disgusting) fruit. Not much here needs said. I prefer to keep it classy.
STALL WIDTH & DISPENSER PLACEMENT
I placed these two stall characteristics together because individually, they can be a minor inconvenience. But together, they might be the number one public pooping factor that elicits my ire.
Public restroom stalls are narrow, I get it. And I’m a ‘larger’ person, I get it. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken a seat, only to find that I cannot sit ‘shoulders and knees square’ to the door because the paper dispenser is directly next to the bowl.
I can see this as a functioning dispenser placement, IF the stall was approximately 12” wider than the average human shoulder width. And again, I can acknowledge that my shoulders are wider than average. But there is no way on God’s earth that stall designers are taking this into account.
I have had to sit with my shoulder pressed so firmly against the paper dispenser that it’s nearly impossible to properly unroll, rip and fold the tissue without a side-bend that requires a flexibility that I left behind in my 30s.
I’m convinced even an average sized human would not have the clearance needed to sit square and handle business. No way.
Trying to maximize number of stalls per width of room? OK, I get it. But couldn’t the dispenser be 6-9” in front of the bowl?
Oh, wait… that wouldn’t allow the door to open properly, would it? SMH
There’s plenty to dislike about a public restroom. But like I said, I do NOT want to dissuade you from making room for dessert after a great meal. Please, do what you gotta do.
In fact, there are times when publicly releasing the kraken can be a downright wonderful experience. We’ll talk a little more about that… next time.
And in case you missed it, here’s PART ONE of this explosive expose.
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