Be Careful Who Picks Your Nose
“You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But never, pick your friends nose.” – Coach Finstock, TEEN WOLF 1985
Ever notice that when you’re ‘out and about’, if you run into someone from your neighborhood, or your town…it provides a little boost? Maybe you’re just in a nearby town or city, and someone says they’re from your town or city.
You instantly react with, “hey, I’m from ___________”.
There’s an innate sense of belonging that feels, good. You identify with that person, and with the geography that you have in common, and it feels good. Even if you’re not sure why.
Ever notice that the further from home you are, the larger that geography gets (that you identify with)?
For example: Let’s say you’re from Ohio and traveling in another state. You meet someone that says they’re from Ohio. It’s not uncommon to hear “O-H”…expecting the return of “I-O”. It’s a gesture that proclaims your connection with one another. And this time, it wasn’t about being from the same town or city… You were connected by a state. You could live in completely different parts of the state, but you’re both from Ohio!
There’s an innate sense of belonging that feels, good. You identify with that person, and with the geography that you have in common, and it feels good. Even if you’re not sure why.
Let’s take it a step further:
Let’s say you’re from Ohio and traveling in Europe. You’re in Germany, sitting at a restaurant. Most people are speaking German, and you’re staring at the menu while trying to make sure you don’t accidentally order the chilled Weiner Schnitzel.
You overhear someone at the next table tell the waiter that they’re from the US.
“Hey…we’re from the states as well! Where are you guys from?”
It doesn’t matter at this point whether you’re from Ohio and they’re from California. You’re both from the USA! This time, it wasn’t about just being from the same state, it was an entire country.
There’s an innate sense of belonging that feels, good. You identify with that person, and with the geography that you have in common, and it feels good. Even if you’re not sure why.
Now, let’s say you’re from the U.S. and you’re visiting the outlaw planet of Tatooine. You stroll into the Mos Eisley Cantina and overhear someone…
Well, you get the drift. And for those who got that reference, well done.
There have been countless studies on this phenomenon…the power of social connections. Our internal need and desire to connect with others. It’s hard wired within us.
It is certainly evident in our close personal relationships. Family, friend groups, social circles, fraternal or military institutions, etc…. But in study after study in fact, it’s been proven that we seek this connection so deeply, that it can even be completely trivial.
It can be as trivial as sharing a birthday, or wearing the same piece of clothing.
In several experiments, participants were bonded together in such trivial ways as a colored sticker placed on their chest, and asked to engage in various tasks.
In almost every result, those who felt a connection with others, worked harder and longer for the common purpose. Those with the same colored sticker started to share the same goals and philosophy about solving the task.
It is hard wired within us. Our need for connection. We crave the security that comes from being around like minded people. Especially as we get older.
We want to be around people who share our values. We want to be around people who share our hopes and dreams and goals, and our affinity for things like foods and destinations and sport teams.
But you know what’s interesting?
That need for security and connection, can often override our own likes and dislikes.
When we’re connected to a group of people, and we spend time with those people…we start to take on the likes and dislikes of the group. We start to share interests and tastes.
This can be a very powerful thing. It can be motivating and inspirational, and cause us to achieve incredible things that we wouldn’t and couldn’t on our own.
But it can also be a very dangerous thing. It can be motivating and inspirational, and cause us to do things we’d never think of doing on our own.
The people we surround ourselves with; The people we connect with, every day…is an extremely powerful force in our lives.
You’ve probably heard the saying that ‘you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.’ And if you really think about it…isn’t it true?
But perhaps a better question would be: Who are the people that you are connected with?
Do they share the same hopes and dreams and goals and aspirations? Do they share the same values or commitment to certain principles that are important to you? Are they helping you to achieve more than you ever would have or could have, on your own?
Or have you foregone your spirit, just to remain connected?
Thank you friends, for being part of my circle.
