Do You Negotiate Like a Child?
I was thinking about the saying that “Children are the Best Negotiators”
Is it really true? Why is that?
I think part of the answer is that children are laser focused, in the moment, on what they want. Think about it. They want that piece of candy. And they will absolutely wear-you-down. They’ll ask 100 times, if that’s what it takes. And they’ll take 99 “no’s” along the way.
Great lesson for getting what we want, right? NOT SO FAST.
Here’s the problem. Children are fantastic CLOSERS. They’re great at sealing the deal, right then and there.
But for the rest of us, we might want something that’s right in front of us, but we can’t just focus solely on that. Else there’s much more to lose, than just that yummy piece of candy.
When you and I engage someone, trying to get “what we want”…we’re practicing the art of influence. We are trying to influence someone to think or see from our perspective. And you know what?…we’re doing it constantly (whether we know it or not).
But we must be aware that the ways by which we try to influence others, are also the foundations upon which that future relationship are built. Trying to “get what we want”, without thought of tomorrow, leads not to influence, but to manipulation.
So how do you balance the want to get what we desire, with the simultaneous need to sustain good relationships and solidify our reputation as someone that isn’t just in it for him/herself?
It seems to me that the answer lies in your intention.
Is your intention to simply get what you want, or is it ultimately to SERVE others?
To find a balance between actively pursuing what it is that you want, and maintaining positive relationships…your intention must be to SERVE.
But to me, here’s the real KEY: Your intention to serve MUST be sincere.
Without authenticity, you have nothing. People in your life will see right through you, if you are not your authentic self.
Without the genuine desire, built inside of you, to help others… You might be able to get what you want, but you will never be a person of influence. Someone able to show others your point of view, while preserving their respect.
Children are great closers, but they aren’t yet capable of seeing the long road ahead.
Children can SELL, but adults should (and I would say must) SERVE.
