Get in the Damn Conversation
A friend of mine recently asked me:
“What advice would you give your 26 year old self?” (I’m now 46!)
We’ve all probably heard a question like this, or even been asked. And for most, there’s likely a moment of hesitation…because…it’s a pretty big question.
There is much to reflect upon. Lessons and loss, triumphs and tragedies, victories and vitriol.
So while there are probably a few paths this conversation could take, for me, there was no hesitation. None, at all.
My answer: Get in the Conversation.
You know…those conversations that you might have witnessed, and wanted to say something, but didn’t. Maybe that person you see at a gathering that you want to get to know, or introduce yourself to. Or maybe that recent city council meeting where you witnessed an important debate.
When I look back at my life and career, I can find so many times where I’ve reduced myself to a spectator. Sometimes via over-analysis, sometimes via over-preparation.
I’ve found myself hesitant to speak, or to share ideas…for fear that a lack of preparation would “expose” me. Or perhaps because I thought the people I was considering engaging were more experienced or “important”. I’ve found myself analyzing all the possible retorts, instead of offering my perspective.
And you know the result? Missed Opportunity.
Because you know what I’ve learned?
1. The retorts rarely, if EVER come.
2. Most people, regardless of status, are genuinely interested in your contribution to the conversation. In fact, the more influence a person has, the more they are likely interested in your perspective.
And here’s the BIG ONE:
3. Actively participating in the conversation, is often NOT just about that conversation. It’s about the doors that it will open. And those doors are hidden, unless you get in the conversation.
BUT, and this is a BIG BUT (no jokes, please)…
If you want to expose yourself to more opportunity, more potential for growth and more avenues of service…you MUST have the right intentions.
You MUST have a genuine desire to contribute, not just extract value.
You MUST have a genuine desire to learn, as much as share.
You MUST offer your opinions with humility and not hubris.
And you MUST view those in the conversation with the proper amount of empathy.
If you do those things…and you have a positive contribution to give…then I say Get In The Conversation.
Insert yourself, insert your opinions. Learn, Share, Grow. And watch all that is revealed.
