I Have Become Death
Robert Oppenheimer paraphrased these famous words in 1945, after witnessing the result of his creation… the atomic weapon. It was a breakthrough that he felt was necessary to save our world, but one that he later actually regretted.
It would seem that it (his invention) was simultaneously the key to life, and the key to…death. And Mr. Oppenheimer didn’t exactly know how to reconcile the difference.
Can you really blame him? Would you know how to separate the desire to give life, from the necessity of bringing death?
Most of us are fearful of facing our own mortality. Mr. Oppenheimer faced (and to some degree actually controlled) the mortality of hundreds of thousands of others.
I can’t possibly imagine the conflict that would cause inside of a person.
Facing our own mortality is a curious and fascinating subject. One that also seems incredibly paradoxical.
It is something that most of us avoid, sometimes at all costs. And I understand it, I suppose. The concept of our own mortality can conjure nihilistic feelings. It can paralyze us in fear and distract us from the now.
But on the other hand, there’s something about the realization (and acceptance) that our lives are finite, that can bring a renewed urgency and focus to our ‘now’.
We experience this quite often when we lose a loved one and are forced to reflect on the times that we shared, and on a future without. And sometimes we can be awakened by a split-second brush with our own demise, like a car accident.
Have you ever experienced this?
Have you ever faced your mortality and vowed to do more, to be more, to give more?
And in that way…shouldn’t we incorporate this grim realization into our lives a bit more?
Now I do realize that continuously living with the sense of urgency that can follow an examination of death isn’t realistic or sustainable. I suppose it would be quite exhausting. And in some cases, like that of Mr. Oppenheimer, I’m sure it could be haunting.
But I also realize that in moderation, a reminder of all that we have, and all that we will eventually lose…can be quite useful. And that this reminder, can be summoned without actual loss. But rather, by decision.
Every day bring us the power to decide where we place our focus. Every day brings us the opportunity to trigger the urgency and gratitude that will most assuredly fuel an abundant and rich life, but that is too often reserved for those moments when we are forced to face death.
But…we choose.
We decide.
We decide each day if we will remember. And we decide how those thoughts will carry us forward.
Today I choose to remember, that all of this could end in the blink of an eye.
Today I choose to remember, how incredibly fortunate I am for my family and loved ones, and for all those in my life.
Today I choose to remember, that a glimpse of my own mortality can fuel a daily desire to live in gratitude and service, and therefore I have complete control over my attitude, my actions, and my ability to positively affect all those around me.
Today I choose these words as my guide: I Have Become Life.
