Tips for Winning a Facebook Argument
Facebook can be enjoyable. It can help us stay in touch with family and friends, it can keep us informed of the world, and it can even give us moments of joy.
Facebook can also be annoying. It can give us unrealistic life expectations, it can expose us to babies that are actually quite ugly, and it can introduce us to some opinions that we may not have considered…and that we may, not, like.
When we do come across those opinions that are contrary to our own, we may even feel like responding with our own perspective. You know, a little online ‘discourse’.
That discourse can be wonderful. It can challenge your views, it can give you an alternate perspective, and it can leave you a better person.
But sometimes…that discourse escalates into a full-blown debate. At best an argument, at worst, a back and forth “e-rant”.
If you ever find yourself in this position (Argument or Rant), I present these tips…which I sincerely hope you’ll consider. For you, and for all of us.
TIP #1: You CAN’T win.
When you find yourself compelled to engage in a Facebook argument, please know that you can’t win. And here’s why:
If you are responding a person who has felt so passionately about his or her position, that he/she had the nerve, courage or audacity to create a public post that is obviously controversial…then that person will bring a very, very strong confirmation bias to his/her reaction to your comments.
Further, Facebook is a digital medium…most often of the written word. There is no ability to relate expression, inflection or context to your point.
Between a limited ability to provide a fully articulated position, and the bias that accompanied your opponents post…there is nearly zero chance that your “words” will change their mind, or even shift their perspective slightly.
TIP #2: You CAN lose.
Remember when I said that the digital medium didn’t give you the ability to fully articulate your position? Well Facebook is also a public medium. And that means that your inability to fully construct a position that should truly be considered by your opponent, is also being considered by onlookers who have even less context to the conversation.
This creates a condition whereby the casual reader of your post may identify only with the emotional and biased parts of your argument.
And sometimes, those initial impressions, when taken without context, can make you look…not good.
TIP #3: You DO have options.
I’m not suggesting that you use Facebook for nothing more than pictures of food, family, fun and gratitude. I try to be the first person in line to have an in-depth discussion about a topic that requires some intellectual vigor.
I’m merely suggesting that if you choose to engage your digital friends in more controversial topics (politics or religion certainly come to mind), and if that engagement escalates into a debate…that you understand the uphill battle that an ‘online argument’ represents.
There are simply variables that make it nearly impossible to actually affect another person’s perspective. Especially a person who is passionate enough to engage in a discussion that goes beyond the wonderful art of discourse.
Don’t believe me? Prove me wrong.
