You’re Wrong. Why? You’re Mean. Wha?
“For good ideas and true innovation, you need human interaction, conflict, argument, debate.” – Margaret Heffernan
There is a word I use, and consider, quite a bit: Discourse.
It is simply a synonym for discussion or debate, but I find the word to have more nuance than that. To me…it is a step up from discussion, alluding to a more informed, measured and logical debate. And I believe its use, between two people, is an incredible source of personal and professional growth.
We’ve probably all had a conversation with someone that ended in an emotional and unreasonable fashion. Something like this:
Me: You have a good point, but I’m not sure I agree with you 100%.
Them: You’re mean! Me: Wha? Why? Them: I’m done! (storms away)
OK, slight exaggeration, but I think you get the point.
One of those conversations that you leave, wondering why you can’t have a civil, logical, reasonable and mutually beneficial discussion…without generating negative sentiment or animosity. Those discussions are unfortunate and unproductive, whether at home or in the workplace.
Here’s what I suggest:
Step 1: If I am wrong, or my conclusions/proposals don’t merit agreement or compromise…show me, teach me. Don’t simply disagree, and worse yet, walk away upset.
Step 2: If I find your ideas or proposals to be inadequate, let me explain my reasoning. Allow the conversation to be about examining the ideas and looking for a mutually respected and beneficial conclusion.
Step 3: Repeat step 1 if necessary.
Step 4: Walk away better people.
Have a good day friends. Have great debates with great people. Make memories and find solutions. Laugh & Grow.
I know I’m ready.
